It’s a little moment of clarity that comes after the rain; when the sun first appears from behind the gloomy cloud. At this specific moment, the sunshine looks brighter than it had ever before, because we had almost forgotten what it felt like on our skin. But then our eyes adjust, and we are left wondering if the sky had really appeared clearer a moment ago, or if it was just our pathetic imagination.

I personally think that we all know the truth about everything from the very beginning. We just choose to ignore it most of the time. We place filters in our mind, that put bias actions into play, leaving us paralyzed when the truth finally knocks us in the face. This theory would clearly explain the saying “the wife is always the last to find out.”

So, when the avoided truth finally roots itself to your attention, you become haunted by all the revelations that it brings. You are not recalling the happy moments. You are recalling the moments that brought a smile to your face, but this time seeing them differently. Now you see the truth behind the action, the truth behind the face; you’re pretty much royally fucked. To say you feel used is putting it lightly. You knew it all along, and it still took you forever to figure out. So not only are you feeling retarded (yes, I know the correct political term is differently enabled), but you're depressed, suppressed, and any other –essed word that would work in this situation.

And your friends are telling you to suck it up.

So why don’t you?

It’s was all a false sense of comfort; a mirage of a crumbled wall. Now that it’s back to reality, you realize you never penetrated the wall. In fact you were so far from the wall itself, that it was completely out of sight. And the comfort you enjoyed so much? Well it was actually a hay stack. It sort of melded to your body, and proved a sturdy place to rest. Maybe that’s why you were able to ignore the itch for so long, and deny that it was all bullshit.

Just keep in mind; if you always do what you’ve always done, then you’ll always get what you always got.

And while what I got had its perks, I’m looking for something different now.

<3

Remember, sometimes a little lie is good for the soul.